I love my life. Does anyone want to join me in loving everything around them?

Soon I'm going to leave High School. I can remember being a little girl in elementery school, thinking about how much longer I had....Now, I'm looking back at it, and thinking about what a small amount of time I had. I want to go to UofL and I want to stay here. I love it here. I want to stay here.

I have to go to work in fifteen minutes. I want to have a great day, so I think I'll think of good things. You see, today is my parents 5 year Anniversary. I think. Yeah. They're happy.

Go Shay and Steve.



Garrett moved in with his sister this week. It'll be fun. Lot's of love all around.

-Eryn

tocaracaria1

he wants me. He even kinda asked for me. I like him. Alot. he's cute, funny, and smat.

So I might have a boyfriend soon.

He'll make me smile.

I'm leaving today. I'm going to look my possible future in the eyes and try not to run away crying. I'm so not prepared for this. I don't think that I'll do well growing up. Fear is one of those obsticals that collage is supposed to help you over come. I sooo do not see that happeing.

Aimee, I want you to give me a big internet hug. Tell Mr. Leavy your best friend from Louisville, Ky says "SEXY LADY"


Love to you all (who are reading). Wish me luck. Scarry.

I'm done

I'm finnished. I'm tired of starting things that I know that I can't and don't want to finnish. I'm sick of everything and I hate the fact that I hate so many people. I'm not mean, but I'm going to rant. About what, I'm not certain, but just know you don't have to read or comment.

I don't know what to do about not liking the people who like me; Mrs. Aldrige had no right to imply that I was stupid today; Hemoseth has no real reason to live; Andrew has no reason to live and I don't apreshiate him calling me out of the blue and dumping his personal shit on me so he could feel better; I don't think that I deserved to be lectured by Isabel on Sunday about sending Bobby home, when it was her responcibility to make sure everyone got home safely; My grandmother had a stroke today; I hate group projects; Cold makes me cranky; and finnaly, I wake up every morning and feel that somehow, I've dissapointed my mother some where along the way.

Fuck. I'm done. I don't want to deal with anything and the fact that my mother wants me to go back to therapy, for my inability to handle it when people joke around about being raped, when they have no idea that anyone they know, let alone someone in the room has been raped, is so beyond words for me. I can't even begin to explain how much that hurts me. I want to get away. I need to get away. I want people to stop being stupid. To realize that they are what they are, to know that they are making the wrong choice, and to know that they can't control every last thing about people. I want to accept some of these things. I'm not asking for a miracle, but I am asking for someone to acknowladge the fact that they know that I'm not crazy and that these things are really happeing.

I'm sick with deciding my future, when I'm uncertain about the present. Fuck. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who I want to be. I do know that I'm late and that there's no reason for it. I'm still concerned. I'm about a month late. God. Please let me wake up. Let me forget about life and let me walk out of school. I don't think I can go much longer before I shoot Hemoseth. If I hear him make one more rape comment, one more black comment, one more HIV/AIDS comment, I will kill him. Or at least attack him. And not one person will blame me. I'm done.

Great Day

I was forward with someone today and I rode my bike. I cared for a friend, who needed a friend and I had some good Chi Burg at Hinnie Brothers. It was awsome. Now I'm wondering around on the internet, for no real purpose, seeing as no one I want to talk to is online (or talking to me) and listening to Pink Floyde's Dark Side of the Moon. Yup. I feel good.

I even showerd this weekend. Nice and clean. Oh and I've officially moved into Aimée's house (not really. I just left a toothbrush there). I have no life. I love food. I love sleep. Yay for good people and fun music.

What a great day.

The truth is

I Love my body...but nobody knows who I am.

I wish I could buy back the woman you stole

The sun in blocked behind many rain clouds. The water falls and breaks through my sking, seaping into the very core of my being. Walking outside is not a fond experience at this moment.

All day, all I could think is, "And what's the point?". Do you know how empty that makes me feel? There were kids from Isreal and they felt that they were making a difference, when in reality, they did not really know why they were there. They avoided the meaningful questions and talked in circles.

I feel hollow and filled at the same time.

I want to go out and drive. I feel like I need to. Driving in the rain. Sounds more intreaging than feeling my soul soaking up acid filled water.

I wish I could say more life changing things. I wish that I could realy convey how I felt. And I wish that my mom and I had more in common. To bad. It could have been a beautiful relationship.

Another Day

I feel complete right now.

...maybe sleep could fo-fill me somemore, but I doubt it.

I love sunlight.





Remember that a new day starts with every setting moon and every rising sun. We can always start over and learn from our mistakes.