the cutting takes over and controles. If only I could hold onto reality
so I am updating. For what? To tell secret messages about things, that everyone should know, but never do; or to tell something that i didn't want every one to know, only to find out that they already know? Either way sucks...
So, from my last update, in my other blogg, I blurted out all the shit from the past three days. Nice move on my part, but hey, i don't care anymore. I CUT!!!
And what for, you might ask. well, wonder on over here and I shall tell you....
I have a fucked up life, an even more confussing childhood, and I am depressed. I black out, and block reality, becuase it is all to much for my small and fratchered existance. So maybe you will miss me when I am gone, but I wont.
And I can't appologize for that anymore.
posted by eryn at 8:47 PM
2 Comments:
Your identity is not merely someone who cuts. That's the first thing i want you to know. You are a wonderful person who I love, and you've been through some nasty shit.
I've said this all before. All i can say that is new is that reality is too staggeringly large to take in and not be severly depressed. Confine yourself, if you must, to the small chunk alloted to you and us-reality is a bitch. But once you get over the culture shock, not so bad...
kidding. You live in reality. It's impossible to escape. My reality is different from your reality, which is different from everyone else's. Realize that Life is worth it in the end. This cannot last forever. There will come a day, maybe a year, maybe five, maybe ten, when you will wake up and be amazed at how beautiful the morning is. You will be happy.
Sadness cannot last forever. Ending now is cheating yourself out of fifty years. It's cheating yourself out of friends, lovers, pets, food, travel, so many things that you, and I as well, have ahead of us. High school, and after it, college, is not nearly all life is.
A year, or five, is a blink of an eye. You will have many five years. Please, for your sake more than ours, do not cheat yourself out of them. I love you. You love you. Shea and Steve love you, Joe is dead inside, and you matter in a sense that is deeper than everything you see and feel. You are. You exist. For your sake, for our sake, keep it that way.
7:00 PM
Yeah, i second that. Although this time may feel like shit now, it will get better. You will have good times as well.It just sucks right now.If you aren't around for the good times, you don't know what you're missing out. you will miss them. They can be worth all the shit that you feel right now.They can. You just have to stick around for them.
3:33 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home