Life Lately
lately, life has been.....crazy. The title, Places to see people to do, is just how I feel. I feel like I have to see so much and I'm not able to. People to do is just a flirt thing, but I guess it could mean more. If only it ment more because it ment something to someone.
I don't mean to complain, it's just that, well, my life isn't filled with people wanting to fuck me left and right. There always seems to be that one girl that every one goes to because she is smart, hot, amazing, and she just has this way with her presence. And there's always that guy. The one that every one wants to know because he seems to know that he is great. Not in the arogant "I'm the best" sort of way, but in the, "I think it's amazing that people find me this interesting. I better go with it" sort of way.
And they always seem to find each other. They just get along, because it seems that they were ment to. I'm never gonna be one of those people. Ever. I'm always going to be the friend that never tells how she feels. Only watches.
Too afraid to be rejected by the wonderful people, in fear that all others will leave. Isn't that a shallow thought? Yes, it is.
And acctually, in todays society, it could be one girl and one girl, one boy and one boy or many more reminecense of that. I am bi-sexual and I am prowed of who I am. I won't change for anyone, and I won't change bacause of anyone. No one that i hang out with wants me to change who I am. And the only person who does want me to change, is my father.
But off of the hot subject in polotics. On to other things.
But what to talk about? Could I talk about how I am tired of being who I am? No no, i've already ruiend one blog with that sort of shit. Perhaos this one will be just my sort of rambling thing. Would that work? Perhaps; perhaps not.
I don't know what the perpose of this blog is, but I do know that it is good for me. so maybe I'll keep it.
-eryn
posted by eryn at 9:36 PM
4 Comments:
so far i like it a lot, i seriously do. i don't think of you as just the person who sits and watches, when i was first starting to hang out with you, you told me so much about you in about two days. you trusted me, and that isn't usual, you told me how you felt. yes i know i will probably sound crazy, but i think everyone i know and am friends with is good in some way or another, or multiple ways or another. if you think you are a watcher, that is funny.
i am a watcher, everyone tells me i am too quiet. but i don't mind. i hope i learn a lot from my shy/quiet/watchful nature, and i hope i help people with whatever i do. criticize (spelling) me how you like, these are my thoughts.
8:47 PM
Have fun with it, my dear. I'm listening to Scissor Sisters, it's making me miss you even more :-(
6:15 PM
It's a really good thing that you are proud of yourself,and that you won't change for anyone. Not many people can say that.But anyways, I garantee you that there are a few people who want to screw you.Not that it matters much to you, but remember the pics, they are awesome, and I'm talking about the ones of you.But I do know what you mean by that one girl and that one guy. It does start to bug you after a while, but I've gotten used to it.And I don't think that your fear of rejection is a shallow thought, I feel the same thing. I sit back, watch, and wait. For what, I have no idea.It's ok to be a watcher, as long as you are content with that. Well, I probably just confused the hell out of you, because I think I've lost myself. Oh well, love ya.
5:36 PM
listen to brie. She knows all.
And eryn, lovely, this is an excellent begining. Je t'aime.
5:58 PM
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